Readers Questions - I
Q1. Sir, I have been on the lookout for a job a while. Recently, I received a gorgeous offer from a startup company. However, this company is relatively not well known and established. I am confused right now. What would you advise me?
A1. I believe hidden within your question is a bigger dilemma: whether I should be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond? Well, being part of a mammoth, well established Organization has its own share of advantages and disadvantages. The advantage being you can take your time to explore and get settled eventually. However, the flip side being there is a chance, where you may get lost in a sea of people. And, being part of an upstart company – which are quite popular these days –has its own share of ups and down. You may be quite visible and allotted an important portfolio. But the chances of expanding your abilities can be limited.
So, what should you do? The ultimate question is not whether you should be a big fish or be part of a big pond. You only need to ensure you are part of a growing pond. And it is only in a growing pond, you get to be influential and grow along with the Organization – however small or big fish you may be !
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Q2. Sir, my appraisal discussion didn't go too well. During the discussion, I was startled to hear my manager saying, "you should have done that, this and that...many which were not related to my daily task" I am quite upset that he waited for one full year to finally tell me I was not in the right track. I am literally heart broken. What should I do now?
A2. Well, that's definitely not a good news at the end of the year. Having said that, you need to understand certain corporate principles. Nobody – whether it is your friend or manager – will point at your etiquette which you don't follow. For instance, your manager will never discuss with you the following, as long as you don't default on the work assignment,
A1. I believe hidden within your question is a bigger dilemma: whether I should be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in a small pond? Well, being part of a mammoth, well established Organization has its own share of advantages and disadvantages. The advantage being you can take your time to explore and get settled eventually. However, the flip side being there is a chance, where you may get lost in a sea of people. And, being part of an upstart company – which are quite popular these days –has its own share of ups and down. You may be quite visible and allotted an important portfolio. But the chances of expanding your abilities can be limited.
So, what should you do? The ultimate question is not whether you should be a big fish or be part of a big pond. You only need to ensure you are part of a growing pond. And it is only in a growing pond, you get to be influential and grow along with the Organization – however small or big fish you may be !
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Q2. Sir, my appraisal discussion didn't go too well. During the discussion, I was startled to hear my manager saying, "you should have done that, this and that...many which were not related to my daily task" I am quite upset that he waited for one full year to finally tell me I was not in the right track. I am literally heart broken. What should I do now?
A2. Well, that's definitely not a good news at the end of the year. Having said that, you need to understand certain corporate principles. Nobody – whether it is your friend or manager – will point at your etiquette which you don't follow. For instance, your manager will never discuss with you the following, as long as you don't default on the work assignment,
- Poor dressing sense – wearing a bright yellow socks
- Inability to articulate your ideas to the client
- Maintaining poor hygiene – bad breadth
- Lack of confidence in proactively reaching out to your colleagues
- Poor email writing skills
The above list is endless. However, though none talks about these issues, everyone notices these and frames an opinion about you at the back of their mind. And worse, these issues crop up to the frontal surface only when your manager needs to make a crucial once-in-a-year decision – like whether to give you a promotion or send you on onsite (abroad) assignment.
So, what should you do? I would suggest – instead of blaming your manager for waiting one full year – you to proactively setup a one-one meeting with your manager every one month and discuss with him your progress. During this meeting, you should proactively request him about where he thinks you are doing well and where he thinks you need to pull up your socks. If you can maintain this open communication throughout the calendar year, there would be very less surprises towards the end.
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Q3. Billy, I am sick and tired of my married life. You know, I have to wear what my mother-in-law (MIL) wants me to wear. I have to cook what my MIL wants me to cook. I cannot bring home my friends. But my husband will bring home all his friends and I have to just cook something delicious for them. Am I a B****? Please tell me how do I handle this issue which is affecting my work life also.
A3. Hmmn, very sad to hear your story. With feminism making a lot of strides in our country, it is indeed shocking to hear this from the mouth of an educated, independent working woman like you. While I don't doubt your story, I am pretty taken back as to how this snowballed into such horrible position you find yourself now. Anyhow, we will discuss this in person to understand the situation better.
But my quick two cents on this issue. People take advantage of people who want to be taken advantage. While it is nice to be kool and helpful to others, one needs to realize that 'magnanimity' cannot come at the expense of putting oneself down. How can you really help others when you haven't taken care of yourself? So the moot point being, try to be assertive in your communication, where you take care of the rights of others including yours.
For example, the next time your MIL screams, "what a lousy dress you are wearing!", do not try to change the dress nor give your piece of mind by retorting "this is my dress and I am comfortable with it", Instead, look at her with a smile and then gently say, "Aunty, you know how lazy I am. And, this is the only dress I can wear quickly without having to spend much time ironing my clothes!"
Q3. Billy, I am sick and tired of my married life. You know, I have to wear what my mother-in-law (MIL) wants me to wear. I have to cook what my MIL wants me to cook. I cannot bring home my friends. But my husband will bring home all his friends and I have to just cook something delicious for them. Am I a B****? Please tell me how do I handle this issue which is affecting my work life also.
A3. Hmmn, very sad to hear your story. With feminism making a lot of strides in our country, it is indeed shocking to hear this from the mouth of an educated, independent working woman like you. While I don't doubt your story, I am pretty taken back as to how this snowballed into such horrible position you find yourself now. Anyhow, we will discuss this in person to understand the situation better.
But my quick two cents on this issue. People take advantage of people who want to be taken advantage. While it is nice to be kool and helpful to others, one needs to realize that 'magnanimity' cannot come at the expense of putting oneself down. How can you really help others when you haven't taken care of yourself? So the moot point being, try to be assertive in your communication, where you take care of the rights of others including yours.
For example, the next time your MIL screams, "what a lousy dress you are wearing!", do not try to change the dress nor give your piece of mind by retorting "this is my dress and I am comfortable with it", Instead, look at her with a smile and then gently say, "Aunty, you know how lazy I am. And, this is the only dress I can wear quickly without having to spend much time ironing my clothes!"
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